Bananaworld

• UFO: Enemy Unknown
  
• Worlds of Ultima: The Savage Empire
  
• Transport Tycoon
  
• Theme Park
  
• Red Alert 2 (LAN multiplayer...)
  
• Mariocart (on the SNES!)
  
• Commandos
  
• Civilization (I through IV, but especially II)
  
• Worms (original; multiplayer)
  
• Frontier: Elite II

Those were the days, those happy, geeky days...

Friends, relatives, visitors and I have eaten our way through over 900 Weetabix since I took up residence in this flat in June last year. Tasty.

BTW, Weetabix are made in Kettering which is also where Alpro (UK) is based so my soya milk dampened wheat cereal breakfasts originate almost entirely from Northamptonshire. I suspect, however, the bananas do not come from Windward Isles, N'hants.

Here is a Venn Diagram of my current employment dilemma:

As you can see the major problem with a Venn of my potential employment future is that there is no overlap betwen the two areas (prompting questions as to whether it constitutues a true Venn Diagram) with the further minor problem that the jobs I would like to do occupy a far smaller area (not to scale) than the... erm, other area.

You know what I really want to do? I quite fancy working as a bike mechanic for a couple of days a week to get my bike fix (boom boom) and then spending a few days a week doing some worthwhile voluntary work. So many people get paid stupid amounts of money for doing nothing and I really don't want to join them so I figure the furthest I can possibly get from them is to do something and get paid nothing (fiscally).

[abrupt sound of phonograph needle being jogged across and off the disc, representing a return to the perceived 'real' world]

Unfortunately this ideal situation, the 'first circle', is unlikely to become a reality due to the pressures of getting a job that is reaslistic, sustainable & financially sound: the 'second circle'.

Just in case you were wondering where my current job fits into the above Venn, it definitely occupies a space in another circle (not shown; which also contains jobs such as double-glazing-salesman, warehouse labourer & newspaperboy) labelled 'Jobs I'll Never Do Again'.The universal set outside of all circles contains jobs such as accountant, lawyer, banker, financial advisor, & estate agent which, mark these words carefully for they are true, I will never do.

I have come to realise that my dream job will never happen and that I must fit into the world and join my fellow minions in slogging the daily grind doing a job I don't want to do simply to earn enough money to have the sort of life I am expected to have.

Gee, life's great! Let's get a-job-applying!